There was that time when I was 25 year old, I was planning my wedding, and I had just passed the bar exam. I was hired as a deputy district attorney fresh out of law school where I began a career as a prosecutor working 50 hours a week, carrying a heavy caseload, and appearing daily in court. That season lasted for nearly five years. In that time, I learned trial skills, stress management, and how to think on my feet. I wore suits and heels and a string of pearls as I walked the halls of justice representing the people of the State of California. It was exciting, but in truth, it was also exhausting, and by year five I was burned out.
Soon after I gave birth to my daughter and two years later my son. With them came a new season. I quit the practice of law and became a stay at home mom, changing diapers, documenting every month of growth, nurturing them, and reading stories every night. It was a different kind of weary, one that came the lack of sleep from being a new parent and meeting the needs of small children. When they became toddlers, I set up art easels, took them to the playground, and introduced them to all the wonders of the world.
Then came elementary school which had its own level of busyness. School lunches, after school sports and activities, playdates and birthday parties. The distance between the career woman I had been and the stay at home mom that I was continued to grow, but I loved the season I was in and what I was doing.
Once my children were in elementary school, I had more time during the day. I reinvented myself as a real estate investor, DIY/design blogger, a creative, and an artist. As this blog grew, my work became noticed and I had so many opportunities come my way to partner with big brands and opportunities to appear on television. I loved my life, the work I was sharing online and the people I was meeting as a result. We bought houses to flip in the local area, invested and flipped two homes in Las Vegas where my parents lived, and bought a fixer upper in Florida.
I had the opportunity to travel to many different and inspiring places. I counted the number, in 12 years I was lucky to visit 23 countries. Travel became my obsession, my passion, I loved taking pictures of what I was witnessing around the world, people began noticing my photography, so I launched an online print shop.
Then came the season when my children were babies no more and in their place were two teenagers. With it came mood swings and teenage angst. Driving lessons and homecoming dances. Kids that were too cool to be seen with me. And in the place where two children used to be emerged two clever, loveable young adults with their Gen Z humor. They made me laugh, they brought me new challenges and more joy.
Then all of a sudden the youngest turned 18. I took the deepest breath, my children were grown.
Now that they were self sufficient, I had more time to myself. I spent the summer in Florida, sleeping in, enjoying slow mornings, reading books, and watching sunsets at the beach. I had reached a place of true peace with days filled with sunshine and the blessings of two happy and healthy grown adults.
I had the best summer of my life, it felt like a reward. I took my daughter on her first trip to Europe and spent time with family on the east coast. In August, I closed up the house and came home to California. My daughter returned to university and my son started his job, and finally the house was empty.
And I loved it. For about two weeks. It was quiet, it was clean, it was peaceful, it was lovely. But it wasn’t satisfying in the way I had dreamed it would be.
When you’re raising a family often you pray for just one day when you can have that empty peaceful house that’s not littered with shoes by the door, dishes in the sink, and endless piles of laundry. But when the piles are gone you realize those are the signs of life that you miss.
The good news is, in their place are the memories you were so fortunate to create. The closets are now filled with keepsakes from their childhood. There are boxes filled with the projects and artwork from their youth. The pencil lines on the wall mark their physical growth through the years. The framed photos around the house remind you of how blessed you are to have a beautiful family.
I felt life had become comfortable, but stagnant. I didn’t feel challenged. I didn’t feel that buying a new flip house for content or profit would fulfill me. I didn’t want to remodel my existing spaces, I like them the way they are. I wondered how I could find challenge and purpose once more.
So on a whim I looked up whether any law firms in my area were looking for attorneys. Sure enough, a civil litigation firm in my town was looking for an experienced trial lawyer to join them. I didn’t have a resume anymore, it had been twenty years, so I created a new one. I wrote a cover letter introducing myself. The next day I had a phone interview and the day after that a job offer. It was serendipitous how quickly it happened, like it was meant to be. As if this was the new path I was destined to take. I quickly purchased a few new suits to wear and polished the pearl necklaces I had tucked away so many years ago.
It’s amazing how life can change in a moment. This month looks completely different from the last, and I’ve found myself living a totally different Monday through Friday life. In an unexpected plot twist, another season of change has swept into my life.
For the past month I’ve been practicing law in an unfamiliar arena. Civil litigation is very different than criminal prosecution so it felt very much like how I felt as a brand new lawyer over two decades ago, but this time I had years of trial experience under my belt. I’ll admit when I jumped in I was nervous, and had a big case of imposter syndrome. Could I really do this again?
The first week was tough, like trying to drink from a fire hose. The second week I started to get it. The third week I was understanding most of what I was doing, and by the fourth week I was entrusted with my own caseload. Like riding a bike, I rediscovered all of my legal skills were still with me.
Growth happens just outside your comfort zone which is where I am in this present season. I find my work to be challenging in every way possible, and like learning a new language, it’s easier when you immerse yourself in it. So that’s where my focus has been for a month, relearning the law and all the strategies of civil litigation so I can, once again, be a very good lawyer.
I like the energy of my office, it has windows floor to ceiling where I look out upon golden hills and blue skies. I have an amazing mentor and support staff. I have benefits and the flexibility to work remotely. I feel valued, appreciated, and I’m doing important work that feels both stimulating and challenging.
As a result, our family will be staying in California indefinitely, and instead of living in Florida, we will be taking trips to our home there as much as we can. I left a piece of my heart in Sarasota and I look forward to the days when I can return to feel the relaxation I’ve always felt in that region of the country.
My friends, yes you can reinvent yourself again, and again, and again. There are no rules to this thing. You can pivot and start something new. Seasons of change can be scary but they can be exciting too.
It doesn’t need to be a career change. It can be something as simple as cutting your hair and changing your wardrobe. Taking a new course and turning toward a new dream. Learning about anything you find interesting that could take you in a different direction. Following the breadcrumbs of curiosity that may lead you to unexpected places.
What does my new position mean for this blog? Rest assured, I’m not going away! I’ve built this blog and a relationship with readers for fifteen years. I will not abandon it. It may take me another month or two to acclimate to my work schedule and balance necessary billable hours with rest, but I will still be here.
If being a creative is not your job, it’s still important to having a creative life beyond your job. It relaxes the mind and soothes the soul. I’ll keep making art, adding prints to my art shop, and sharing those releases on social media. I’ll post about travels (I still haven’t shared several international trips) and also the things I’m loving or trends I’m noticing. I’m committed to keeping up with the Sunday Weekend Reading roundup posts which I know are a favorite.
For now, I won’t have the time or energy to do major DIY projects or write in depth design articles during the week as I focus on my new position. But I still keep pinning all my ideas for building a Mediterranean home in Sonoma in the near future, and I have visions of a dream vacation home in Florida. So when those opportunities come, which I’m convinced they will, I will share those new endeavors here.
Meanwhile, I’ll continue to post on social media when I’ve published something new on the blog so keep me in your feed or continue to follow along on Instagram.
Thank you for sticking with me all these years I’ve been sharing projects and post on this blog. Words cannot express my gratitude. I still feel very connected to you. Be sure to stop by from time to time and say hello, I’ll still be here.